what most absurd things i did, is talking to him knowing it is like slapping my own face.
pardon me. i couldn't hold back anymore, i know i need to face it rather than playing blind guessing game myself.
however, i didn't ask anything in the end but only to find myself being a nuisance the whole time. there was no questions to all my nonsenses.
what can i ask? " have you forgotten about me? ", " life been good without me? " , " why you broke up with me yet chasing after a model now?"
maybe the last question works but he doesn't have a clue i knew all this. besides, who am i to question and stop him now?
everything has put to an end but because i was jealous of his happening life without my presence, henceforth triggered my nerves to make a big fuss of it. arghz fuck. yeah exactly.
so what now? after talking to him, knowing he's doing well in school, getting honour degree for everything. grobe girls when he was totally drunk and etc etc.
what the fuck am i doing here?! getting depressed to the point where my mood ruined and threw my work aside to further traumatic myself.
i am so stupid, real stupid, a big fool and loser.
Christina is pulling herself back together again. she needs to prove herself, succeed, strive in everything.
no more procrastination, no more emotional setbacks, no more stalking, however no promises as things are unpredictable. as long as her friends are there for here, she promised to stay strong.
bye bye diamond ring, get back to the little red box, stay as my memory.
that's good girl!
ReplyDeleteU got to be strong ! :)
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